


Kinda Complicated

by MajinPiccolo



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Adventures In Space, M/M, Yamza - Freeform, and adventures in politics, and the rest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajinPiccolo/pseuds/MajinPiccolo
Summary: Frieza has long been married to a person he hates for political reasons, but considering his lack of interest in romance he's not too bothered by it... that is, until he gets what should be the world's worst new employee and finds himself feeling an attraction to this unsophisticated human.Of course, things can never go too smoothly, and Frieza and Yamcha will have to face all sorts of obstacles ranging from their own stubbornness to crashing their ship on an uninhabited planet and even an assassination attempt- before figuring out what it really is they both want. But even then, with Frieza's duty as a leader, will they be able to have it?My latest little fic for this strange and fun rare pair.





	1. Get to the Top

Kinda Complicated by MajinPiccolo

Chapter One: Get To The Top

Growing up as the son of a king, Frieza always knew he would, at some point, marry for the sake of political power. In the eyes of the future Emperor of space, romance was a vice afforded only to commoners. While he’d had no illusions that ‘love’ had any place in his life, he was fine with this. He could hardly see the appeal anyway!

When, right about the time Frieza reached maturity, relations became unstable with the Planet Trade Organization sub group that managed a distant, but highly desirable, portion of the universe, King Cold responded by hastily arranging the marriage of Frieza and the son of that area’s ruling general. 

It worked well enough for it’s purpose- the wedding of their two princes united the people and provided a distraction from their prior dissatisfaction. Frieza met his soon to be spouse several days prior to their official joining, and regarded him the same way one would a potential business partner. Flu was also an Icejin, around the same age as Frieza… but considerably weaker, both in physical strength and political standing. But as long as they could use one another for their intended purpose it didn’t matter much, right? 

There was just one thing Frieza, through his many years of mental preparation for this moment, neglected to consider- 

Flu was kinda an asshole. 

\- - - 

Years later, the conflict that had brought the two of them together was long forgotten, but Frieza and Flu were still married, at least in a practical sense. Frieza was a leader and had a wanderlust, so he headed the armies and ran his force from his ship. Flu stayed on the planet that served as their base, handling the smaller details of running an empire, such as hiring staff, meeting low priority clients, and settling issues that didn’t require military intervention. 

It was the first of those duties that brought Flu out of their home and into space one morning. While Frieza was off taking care of his own business, his husband was working on a staffing issue… 

“Lord Flu, with as many qualified applicants as there are for a prestigious position like Lord Frieza’s personal assistant, why are we coming all the way out here to this primitive planet? This ‘Earth’ has barely even achieved space travel!” 

Looking down at the blue planet that their ship was rapidly approaching, Flu smiled. “That’s exactly the reason. We’ll find a very…” he paused to stop himself from laughing, then continued, “a very good assistant for my husband here.” 

“Whatever you say, my lord. Where should we land to find this person?” 

“Literally anywhere.” 

His crew exchanged looks but knew better than to ask any further questions. 

\- - - 

Yamcha’s chaotic youth had seemed to finally settle into some degree of predictability in his twenties once he was signed to the Taitans. Baseball wasn’t exactly his passion, but he was amazing at it, and quickly became one of the best players the game had ever seen. With that came fame and a very good paycheck. Still, he missed fighting. He missed adventure… 

Of course with how lis life seemed to always go he should have known nothing ever stayed stable for long. In the middle of an off season training session a strange craft descended from the sky, landing in the middle of the field before a group of bizarre looking creatures exited it. Like the rest of his team, Yamcha was scared- but unlike them, he’d seen enough strange things in his life by this point to hold his ground. 

“Hey!” He shouted, still holding his baseball bat up as he approached the group of aliens, “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull but we’re practicing here!” He sounded a lot tougher than he felt, but as the group approached his confidence increased. Despite their appearances he could feel they weren’t particularly strong, so when one of them raised some sort of futuristic looking weapon he flung the bat, knocking it out of his attacker’s hands before he could fire. He then dropped into a familiar stance, and when two more attempted to tackle him he sent them both flying with his Wolf Fang Fist. “Anyone else wanna try anything or are you all ready to get back into your ship and head home with your tails between your legs?” 

The taunting was a bad idea- the group attacked him together, and while Yamcha was one of the strongest men on Earth and could likely have taken any of them in a one on one fight, he was quickly overwhelmed, and was soon on the ground. His consciousness fading in and out, he was only vaguely aware of what was happening as they grabbed him and carried him aboard their ship. 

“Congratulations, you primitive being,” one of them spoke. “Since you were dumb enough to fight back, you get the dubious honor of serving my obnoxious husband, Lord Frieza. It won’t be for long though, he’ll lose patience quickly and you’ll die.” 

“Who the hell are you?” Yamcha managed to choke out. 

“I’m Lord Flu, and you’d best stay off my bad side or I’ll kill you in a manner so painful you’ll be wishing Frieza had done it first,” he answered. “Now shut up.” 

Yamcha could see Flu’s fist but was in no condition to block the attack, and then things went black… 

By the time he awoke he was no longer on the ship, but in a dark room laying on a bed. He sat up, his body aching, and looked around- it seemed he was alone. “Okay, Yamcha,” he said to himself, “this looks bad but you’ve been through worse! Do what you can and just… survive.”  
\- - -

While for the most part it seemed they were content to forget about one another, when Frieza did make his visits home, there was a requirement that some time be spent together, for appearance’s sake. 

“Frieza. Let’s get this over with,” the tall, slender icejin sneared as he welcomed his husband into their private suite. Located on the top floor of the palace that served as their base, it was spacious enough to allow them each to have their own rooms- a necessity, as they were far too repulsed by one another to share a bedroom, married or not! For now Frieza walked past Flu without so much as a glance to acknowledge his presence, the horns of his tiny first form barely reaching the waist of his much larger partner. 

It was only once he’d poured himself a glass from the bottle of properly chilled wine that one of their servants had set out for them that he finally acknowledged the presence of the other man. “Flu. I trust you’ve handled things in your usual haphazard way in my absence?” 

“Oh, don’t worry, Frieza. I took better care of this place than you did of our empire. I hear negotiations went poorly with our most recent attempted acquisition?” 

“The terms they demanded simply were not to my liking, but it’s no matter. Where diplomacy failed, Ginyu and his men succeeded, and we now have full cooperation of that planet’s citizens.”

“The Ginyu Force are expensive. You could have easily handled it yourself and spared paying their fee, but I suppose we all know the great and mighty Lord Frieza is a lazy drunk who delegates whatever he can,” Flu said, poking at the still mostly full bottle on the table. 

Frieza rolled his eyes. “There’s a difference between appreciating the fine points of a beverage such as this and being a drunk, although I do tend to drink more when you’re around. It makes your presence somewhat more bearable.” 

“Enough pleasantries. While you were away a member of your staff had to be replaced- your assistant was smuggling items out of the palace to sell.” 

“That’s irksome. Has the situation been handled?” 

“I personally oversaw both his death as well as hired his replacements, so obviously.” There was a little hint of a smile on Flu’s face as he said that- Frieza had a feeling no good would come of it. 

“Did you now? I look forward to meeting my new employee, then.” 

“There’s no other business of note to discuss so I’ll be retiring to my own rooms immediately,” Flu finished, and left their suite’s common area. Frieza did the same, taking his remaining wine with him. 

It’s not that they hadn’t made an effort to get along, in the beginning at least. But it had quickly became clear that both men were prideful, and considered themselves the more capable half of the couple. But they kept up their legal agreement for duty’s sake, even if they attempted to minimize their actual interactions. 

When Frieza finished his wine, he reached over and hit the call button that should have summoned his personal assistant to come clean up the bottle and glass, but no one appeared even after doing so several times. “Ugh, I had already nearly forgotten Flu had my former assistant replaced- did he neglect to train the new one?” Impatient, he strode out of the royal suite and down one flight of stairs, approaching the unassuming door of his assistant’s quarters and kicking it open. “Alright, your first lesson is that when you hear that buzzer you come to my location at once!” 

“Oh! Uh…” Frieza’s angry words had been answered by a terrified looking mammal of a race the emperor wasn’t familiar with. “Are you Lord Frieza? Please don’t kill me!” His new employee had been sitting up in bed, but quickly got to his feet. 

“I’m not killing you- unless you fail to do your job of course.” 

“My job? Okay, what… what is that?” 

That caught Frieza off guard. “Wait a moment, you don’t know why you’re here?” The other man shook his head, and Frieza noticed he was covered in quite a few scrapes and bruises. The outfit he wore wasn’t the uniform of his staff but instead a torn yellow and red set of clothing with writing in a language he was unfamiliar with on the front. Clenching his fist, the emperor muttered, “I should have known Flu would pull something like this. He didn’t hire me an assistant, he just grabbed some random idiot and dumped him off in here!” He spun around, leaving the confused mammal behind as he left the room, intending to go find Flu and give him a piece of his mind. 

He didn’t have to go far- the man in question had apparently followed him and was waiting in the hall. “Ah Frieza, I was just coming to see if you’d met your new staff member yet?” 

Taking a deep breath, Frieza almost started to yell, but stopped himself as he looked at the smug grin on his partner’s face. He’d clearly been trying to upset him with this ridiculously inappropriate hire… Damned if Frieza would give him that satisfaction! “Oh yes. He’ll do nicely,” he answered with a perfectly composed smile, glancing back over his shoulder at his still very confused new assistant. “I can already tell I’ll get along just fine with this… Forgive me, I didn’t catch your name?” 

“It’s Yamcha…?”

“Yes, Yamcha and I will work quite well together, excellent work on this hire, Flu!” Smiling to himself, Frieza stepped back into his assistant’s quarters and slammed the door in Flu’s baffled face. He then approached Yamcha, looking him over critically. Tall and clearly muscular- a quick scan with his scouter revealed a respectable battle power, although he certainly wasn’t in the same league as his elite soldiers- as well as somewhat ruggedly handsome… whatever race he was from bore some resemblance to the Saiyans, although he lacked their tail and unpleasant scent. Yes, with his long, dark, wild hair and powerful build he looked like a more aesthetically pleasing Saiyan. “Alright then. Who are you, what are you, and what do you know about why you’re here?” 

Yamcha stood up slowly. “Well, like I said, my name is Yamcha, and I’m a human from Earth. That… that Flu asshole… he had a group of guys jump me, and then he took me away in his space ship, and brought me here, and just told me I was to serve Lord Frieza, but not to get used to it because you were gonna murder me?” 

“I see. That’s Flu’s style alright, brutal with no real eye for the bigger picture. He was supposed to hire a competent assistant for me, but clearly he just grabbed whoever was convenient in order to piss me off. But I’ve decided to make do with you. If you’re a success Flu will be so disappointed, it will be an enjoyable revenge for this little stunt. Mr. Yamcha, you’ll cooperate, won’t you? Do so and I’ll release you back to your home planet after I’ve sufficiently shoved Flu’s failure in his ugly face.” 

“I get the feeling you guys aren’t the sort who would just let me say no?”

“You’re correct.” 

With only a moment’s thought, Yamcha nodded. “Okay then. I’ll work with you. For self preservation’s sake, and because I’d also love to prove that jerk Flu wrong.” 

“For me, not with me,” Frieza corrected. “Now let’s go get you your proper uniforms.” 

“Alright,” Yamcha paused then asked with a nervous laugh, “Uh, by the way, Lord Frieza… who and what are you?” 

Frieza stopped in his tracks and stared up at the human. “You don’t know?! I’m the emperor of space! The most powerful being in the galaxies!” 

“Whoa, really?!” Yamcha was impressed. “I mean, I could tell you’re strong, but… emperor of space?!”

“Now that you know I trust you’ll show the proper levels of respect?” Frieza asked with a little smirk. 

“If I don’t I’m assuming I die so yeah? And uh, while I’m asking questions, you’re an alien, right?” 

“…I must applaud Flu on this thoroughness in attempting to make my life difficult. I haven’t heard of Earth, and from your reaction to my station as well as myself in general, I’m assuming your planet isn’t involved in intergalactic trade?” 

“Nope.” 

“UGH. This is just ridiculous…” 

\- - - 

Under normal circumstances, given how rarely Frieza was actually home at his palace, and how demanding his schedule tended to be, a minor task such as training his home based staff would be delegated. However, in the case of his new personal assistant, the emperor decided things would be more hands on. The admittedly petty motivation of wanting Flu’s plan to fail as spectacularly as possible was a powerful one for his not so loving husband. 

As Frieza dedicated more time than was practical to training the human on not only every aspect of assisting him at his place of residence, but also the work done by the assistant based on his ship, he found another equally compelling reason to continue. 

Yamcha was surprisingly likable. Despite being clearly terrified of Frieza, he was quick to take on any challenge his new job offered him. And he did this with full enthusiasm, particularly when he had a chance to visibly excel while an increasingly annoyed Flu was watching. Another trait of Yamcha’s that Frieza came to appreciate was his conversational skills. He was an excellent listener and full of advice that, while not always good, was endlessly entertaining. Possibly most surprising of all was how interesting his own life had been. Frieza rarely took a personal interest in the histories of others, but Yamcha’s past was downright fascinating. 

When Frieza decided Yamcha should trade roles with his personal assistant aboard his ship, Flu sulked. The human was happy with the promotion (in no small part because it would get him away from Flu, who continued to treat him poorly, but also because he was excited to explore space), and Frieza was quite thrilled to see one man’s sorrow and the other’s joy. 

Frieza told himself that Yamcha’s looks weren’t a part of any of this, but on more than one occasion he had dreams about his assistant that resulted in his waking up quite flustered… But he put that out of his waking mind as quickly as possible and continued working closely with his strangely endearing new recruit over the following months. 

\- - - 

“Lord Frieza, I meant no offense and most certainly wasn’t questioning your judgement!” A panicked Zarbon stammered. 

“Really now? Then get to your point, dear Zarbon,” Frieza’s outward appearance was serene enough with only the slightest bit of irritation on his face, but anyone who’d spent any time around the man quickly learned the meaning of the way his tail was currently twitching. It was enough to have Zarbon fearing for his life. 

“I’m simply communicating what some of the other members of your ship’s crew have been saying, that’s all! Surely you can see how it would look suspicious, having this unexceptional human so quickly rise from practically being a servant to his current standing!” 

“I have no idea what you mean. Mr. Yamcha is anything but unexceptional, and he’s still simply my personal assistant and occasional chef. You make it sound like there’s some ridiculous conspiracy when in reality I’ve simply recognized and a talented individual and put him to work, that is all.” 

“Even if his title hasn’t changed, his role certainly has! He’s been taking the place of other members of your close staff… even duties you formerly assigned to me-“ 

Frieza was fast and had Zarbon by his throat in less than a second. “I see. It’s quite clear now that the real reason you’re so upset is pitiful jealousy. I’m embarrassed of you, you were once so level headed and now your letting such a pathetic emotion cloud your judgement?” He tightened his grip slightly, and Zarbon struggled to breathe. Now unless you have any further concerns I suggest you leave.” He tossed his gasping second in command toward the door, where he quickly got to his feet, bowed, and left, shouting additional apologies over his shoulder as he did so. Frieza watched him leave, scowling. 

Being questioned on his decision making was a rare thing considering his tendency to silence anyone who tried. Had it been anyone but Zarbon he probably would have killed them for it. But in this case it just put him into a particularly bad mood. It didn’t help his terrible headache- he’d been having a lot of those lately- so he sat back down in his hover throne and closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to regain his usual calm before placing a call through his scouter. 

“Lord Frieza, this is Yamcha,” just hearing his energetic voice put a smile on the emperor’s face. “I take it you have need of my assistance?” 

“Indeed I do.” He only had to wait a moment before the human arrived. Over the past couple months he had traded in his servant’s uniform for battle armor and a scouter of his own, but he rarely used it for anything other than communication- he had an impressive ability to be able to track Frieza and others down simply by the feel of their energy. “It’s a pleasure as always to see you, my dear Yamcha.” 

“The pleasure is mine, Lord Frieza,” Yamcha answered with a bow before dropping all formality and tossing an arm around the smaller man’s shoulders. “I passed Zarbon on the way in, he looked pissed, heh!” 

Frieza leaned against the taller man’s side a bit, enjoying his body heat. One of Zarbon’s complaints had been over how casual and friendly Yamcha acted toward the emperor, but somehow Frieza didn’t mind it when it was coming from the human. “I gave him a lesson on respecting my judgement. I don’t think you’ll need to worry about him being so unpleasant toward you in the future.” 

“I could have handled him myself,” Yamcha laughed, even though they both knew very well that he couldn’t, “but thanks for looking out!” 

“Anyway, I’d like to forget about him for a bit, handling his insubordination has caused me some degree of stress. I feel like I could use a vacation… alas, I’m supposed to go ‘home’ to my irritating husband tomorrow, which is exactly the opposite of stress reducing.” 

Yamcha scowled. “Why you haven’t divorced that asshole yet is beyond me- and I know, I know, you have your ‘obligations’ due to your being royalty and all but ugh! Flu is the worst. You make fun of my planet as being backward but most of our monarchies stopped doing the whole marrying-for-political-alliances thing ages ago.” 

“Perhaps that’s why your planet is ran so inefficiently? Prioritizing emotions over practicality-“ 

“I’m just saying, everyone deserves to have a partner in life that they actually want to be with, not someone they have to be with. Even you.”

As the subject changed and Yamcha chatted animatedly about other topics Frieza contemplated what he’d previously said. A partner he actually wanted to be with? What kind of person would that even be? Now that he considered it, he supposed that, for himself, this would probably be someone… maybe… just a little like Yamcha. 

End Chapter One: Get to the Top

Author’s Note: Yeah I’m still not over Yamza. Sorry for the random OC in Flu, for assorted reasons there were no canon characters that would work in that role. I’m terrible at coming up with OCs and I know his name is horrible but it made me laugh so here we are. This story owes a ton of thanks to the fantastic [SkinsT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkinsT/pseuds/SkinsT), who chatted over the concepts that form it’s plot with me a while back. That said, I changed some things up so hopefully even you will be surprised a bit, buddy! 

Next chapter Frieza and Yamcha go on an adventure. Frieza blows off his husband in favor of spending time with his assistant. Yamcha contemplates his accidental friendship with a tyrant, gets a new ability, and finds out Frieza’s been thinking dirty thoughts about him… Look forward to it! And until then, please comment and such. It makes me very happy.


	2. Can You Read My Mind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frieza decides to ignore his obnoxious husband and instead go on a little adventure with his handsome assistant. Yamcha accidentally gets a new ability, and learns something surprising about Frieza...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick reminder of the plot so far due to the months between updates, which I apologize for. Frieza is in a political marriage with a jerk named Flu. Flu tries to sabotage Frieza by hiring the worst possible assistant, a random, untrained human named Yamcha, for him, but the plan backfires when Frieza and Yamcha end up bonding over a shared hatred of Flu. Frieza tries to ignore the fact that his new assistant is really good looking, and Yamcha tries to ignore the fact that he's working for a villain...

Kinda Complicated by MajinPiccolo

Chapter Two: Can You Read My Mind? 

While in previous years Frieza had employed two personal assistants- one at his home base, and the other on his ship- he had recently let go his other employee in favor of having Yamcha perform both jobs and simply travel back and forth between the locations as the emperor did. The following morning the two of them boarded a smaller craft and left the main ship so as to make their monthly trip home. Neither of them were particularly looking forward to it, as Flu was bound to be as obnoxious as ever. 

At least their plan to make him mad by showcasing Yamcha’s success had worked out nicely! 

Frieza’s smaller ship was used by the emperor exclusively, and despite being of a size that would only accommodate two people at most it was considerably more opulent than his main ship. Faster too- Yamcha loved it. As they headed off, Frieza relaxed in the comfortable passenger’s seat and watched Yamcha work his magic at the controls. “It impresses me how quickly you became such a competent pilot. It takes most of my men at least a year of heavy training before I’d trust them at the helm, yet you picked it up in a matter of weeks. You truly are extraordinary.”

One of the reasons Yamcha was so happy to be working for Frieza? The constant praise. “Oh, it’s nothing, really! I just got a ton of practice with all sorts of vehicles on Earth so I’m pretty confident in saying I can handle anything! I’m pretty damn good at wrenching, too.” 

“Wrenching?”

“Like, working on vehicles? Tune ups and repairs and that kinda stuff?” 

Frieza smiled a little. “Your Earth slang is always so… amusing.” 

As they headed home, Yamcha let his mind wander a bit. When he was first forcibly recruited, he had wanted nothing more than to survive long enough to escape. Serving Frieza without complaint had been essential to that… He glanced over at the smaller man and couldn’t help but smile when their eyes met momentarily. 

Frieza was not a good man. Yamcha knew this, and had seen ample additional proof of the fact during their time together. But the human didn’t really have room to judge, what with his own past. Or really, his present, considering how he’d been working to help Frieza. 

There was no doubt that Frieza was evil, and it made Yamcha wonder if maybe he was a little evil too after all. On one hand, he’d try to avoid killing innocents or anything else that the Turtle School frown upon, but on the other? Yamcha was addicted to Frieza’s approval. Very early on in their working relationship Yamcha realized that, for whatever reason, the emperor was rarely impressed with anyone other than Yamcha. The idea that the ruler of space, this being who was not only incredibly powerful in a political sense, but also in terms of raw strength, had taken a liking to him stroked his ego like nothing else. It was embarrassing how badly he wanted to keep him pleased with him, and he’d find himself doing things his slowly declining morals objected to on a regular basis just to hear Frieza’s praise. 

Beyond that, Yamcha was finally having a real adventure again. Exploring space as the right hand man of it’s most feared conqueror? It was the only thing in his adult life that gave him the same excitement as searching for the Dragon Balls in his youth had. 

All of that aside, Frieza was his friend at this point, like it or not. And the more time passed, the more he liked it. 

Maybe it was due to his prior nostalgia, but when he noticed a familiar name on his navigation screen he felt compelled to mention it. “You know, Frieza, we’re coming up on planet Pla. I’ve heard an interesting story about this place.” 

“Really now, Yamcha? I can’t say I’m familiar with it, but I would like to hear this story.” 

“Well, a little while back I overheard some of your men saying their race had once attempted to set up a colony there. They eventually gave up because the atmospheric conditions were super unstable or something like that. But the important thing is, they talked about a powerful artifact that was left in a cave near the summit of the planet’s tallest mountain. Supposedly it could grant one person every hundred solar cycles the ability to read minds! Cool right?” 

“That would be an incredibly useful ability, were that anything more than a legend,” Frieza mused. “I’m guessing this story caught your attention because it reminded you of those Dragon Balls you’ve spoke of?” 

Yamcha nodded. “Guilty! I guess I miss hunting for magical treasure, heh!” He had never told Freiza the full extent of the Dragon Ball’s abilities, only that collecting them all would summon a dragon god. At first it was to keep Earth safe, as doubtless the tyrant would want some sort of evil wish of his own granted. As time went by and his own morality moved back into the grey Yamcha never finished the story because he didn’t want Frieza to know he’d kept something from him. 

Frieza looked over his companion for a moment, thinking. Maybe, just this once, he’d use this opportunity as an excuse and blow off his duty. Flu would be pissed… but Yamcha would like it. “Perhaps I’d like to give that old hobby of yours a go myself. If it is in such a distinct location, it shouldn’t be too hard to find this artifact. Assuming it actually exists, of course. How far are we from the planet?” 

“Wait, seriously? We aren’t far, I could get us there in less than half an hour if we adjust the course a bit, but what about Flu?” 

“Didn’t I say I’d been needing a vacation? This should do nicely. I trust you’ll be joining me? Your experience in these sorts of matters will be most useful.” 

“Of course!” Yamcha practically giggled as he reset the navigation system for their new target. “It’s been too long! I can’t wait!” 

Frieza couldn’t help but smile himself as he watched his assistant make the necessary adjustments while chattering about how they’d go about things. He liked to see the other man happy and excited like this. It made him feel good somehow. Almost like a warmth in his chest. It was strange but pleasant. 

Not long after the decision was made their ship approached planet Pla. “Wow… They weren’t kidding about the atmosphere…” 

Frieza looked down at the planet, it’s surface obscured by something- swirling clouds? “Will that make landing difficult for you, Yamcha?” 

The human shrugged. “Difficult, sure, but I can manage. It’s gonna be a little rough though… Even from here I can tell my visibility will be poor, and the scanners are saying that those aren’t just rain clouds.”

Taking his own look at the readout in front of them, Frieza narrowed his eyes. “I see, some sort of magnetic storm, hmm? No matter, this will complicate things but I have full faith you’ll be able to handle it.” 

Yamcha nodded and began to take their craft downward. As they entered Pla’s atmosphere the ship shook a bit but Yamcha managed to keep it steady, at least at first. But the closer they got to the surface, the worse things became… the human was actually pretty impressed with himself as he fought the increasing turbulence, and soon they broke through the cloud cover and could see the tops of the various hills and trees that made up the surface. 

“I knew I could entrust our safety to you,” Frieza smiled at the other man before leaning forward and staring at the ground below them. “There was a colony here once? It looks fairly undeveloped-“ 

A crack of thunder was heard and a bolt of what seemed to be jagged, silvery lightning struck the ship. “Shit!” Yamcha grabbed the controls and struggled to regain control but they spun, and with a crash they broke through the trees and slammed into the ground. 

Pulling himself carefully from the floor, Frieza dusted himself off. “That was unpleasant-“ a low groan from his left stopped him in his tracks. “Yamcha?!” 

The human had also been thrown from his seat. Frieza knelt down next to him, and grabbed him by the shoulders, helping him sit back up. “Are you alright, Yamcha?” 

“Ouch…” he muttered, opening his eyes and rubbing a bruised spot on the side of his head. “Yeah, I’m fine, it takes a lot more than a rough landing to bring me down! I’m just glad I didn’t hit my face again, this handsome mug already has enough scars…”

“If you’re joking around then you can likely stand. Let’s see how bad this is…” 

Yamcha followed Frieza out. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something that he’d seen Frieza murder people for less than, but he still wondered why it was that he could get away with these things. He supposed it was because they were friends, or something? Once they had disembarked the ship, Yamcha circled it a few times, slowly looking over the damage. Pulling a few pieces out to take a peek behind them, he finally turned to Frieza with a smile. “Looks like we got off pretty easily here! The landing gear are bent but that won’t be an issue as long as the next landing is a lot more gentle than that one. The main issue is just a small crack in the mounting bracket for the lower heat shield. I’m pretty sure I can find enough metal here to make a patch for it, aside from that it’s just a matter of refitting the wiring harness behind it. In fact I could probably get to work on the wiring now and have it knocked out pretty quick, and then we can keep an eye out for metal while we work on our real search for the artifact.” 

Frieza chuckled. “What do you know, your talk of being good at ‘wrenching’ wasn’t an empty brag after all. I’ll let you get to work on those wires then, and I’ll figure out the best route toward that mountain you’d previously mentioned.” 

Yamcha did just that, crawling under their space ship and carefully removing the panels, then replacing the unhooked wiring hidden beneath them. The work itself was easy enough, but the space under the ship was cramped, and after a few minutes he decided to shed his armor, as it kept catching on things. Less encumbered now in just his briefs, he got back to work at a much quicker pace. 

Meanwhile, the emperor had flown up high above the trees and carefully scanned the horizon. The planet was mostly flat and forested, but it didn’t take long for him to find one large exception to that, a steep mountain covered mostly in what appeared to be ice. After noting it’s location he returned to the crash site, approaching the ship on foot. 

He could see Yamcha half way under the ship, everything from his shoulders up hidden from view but his lower body impossible to miss in the grass of the small clearing they’d landed in. Frieza opened his mouth to speak but paused, his eyes slowly moving over the human’s muscular legs and the perfect lines of his abs… and coming to rest on the prominent bulge stretching the thin black fabric of his briefs. Swallowing hard, he tried to look away. How had he never really noticed… 

Fragments of half forgotten dreams came back to him at once, and he felt a heat in his face… along with a few other places. “Damn it,” he muttered to himself, “How had I never previously acknowledged that… Yamcha isn’t just handsome, he’s gorgeous. No… Yamcha is sexy.” Not that there was anything he could do about it- he was a married man after all, even if only as a formality, and he wasn’t about to start courting a scandal by playing around with his incredibly attractive personal assistant. So he closed his eyes and willed himself to calm back down before calling out- “Yamcha, What’s our status?”

The human in question slid back out from under the ship and pushed his bangs out of his eyes before giving Frieza a thumbs up. “Thanks to my skills the wiring harness issue is mostly taken care of! All we need is that raw scrap metal and we’ll be good to go! And you?” 

Frieza almost didn’t answer, as he was heavily distracted by the motion of Yamcha’s nearly nude body. He quickly recomposed himself and stated, “I’ve found what seems to be the mountain that you spoke of, it shouldn’t take long for us to find the supposed artifact now. Shall we?” 

Yamcha nodded. “Just give me a sec to throw my battle jacket back on and I’ll be good to go!” 

Reluctantly, Frieza watched his assistant get dressed, then the two of them flew off toward the mountain. 

\- - - 

“Lord Flu, I just received word regarding your husband’s location.” 

Flu looked up from the spot on the couch where he had been waiting for his usual perfunctory meeting with Frieza. “Is that so? He’s over an hour late. What news do you have?” 

Taking note of his employer’s irritated expression, the servant took a step backward. “Well, apparently he wanted to take a detour, his ship diverged from the preplanned flight path and landed on a planet called Pla.” 

“I see.” Flu stood up and approached the door of his own private section of their quarters. “Keep me updated. For now, that bottle of wine we had waiting for my dear husband…” 

“Yes, what about it?”

“Pour it out.” 

“Yes sir.” 

\- - - 

“Wow… this planet is something else…” 

Frieza and Yamcha stood at the foot of the lone mountain on the otherwise flat surface of the planet. A thick layer of ice coated the peak in slick, slippery, coldness. Yamcha was pretty stunned by it. “How is it that the surface is so warm yet barely two meters above our heads we have full on glaciers?!” 

Frieza smiled at Yamcha’s confusion. “This is yet another example of your human physics failing you terribly.” 

“Well you know, when we’re only working off one planet’s worth of observations, what can you expect?” Yamcha threaded his arm around Frieza’s waist. “Let’s go. I still wanna see if that legendary treasure exists. I’lll keep you warm while we look!” 

It was funny how casual of an action this was from Yamcha, and how similar it was to their usual level of friendly physical closeness, yet in light of his previous observations Frieza couldn’t help but feel a little… uncomfortable. The emperor mentally scolded himself for this- there’s nothing wrong with appreciating the good looks of an employee, he told himself, and if anything, Yamcha should be honored by this! Recomposed, he leaned into his assistant’s side, careful as always not to poke him with his horns. Unfortunately, they both quickly realized that scaling this mountain of ice would take more care and balance than such a stance would allow, so they let go and continued upward at a reasonably brisk pace, jumping from one frozen over boulder to another, occasionally having to rely on their ability of flight to prevent an unpleasant slip and fall. 

They reached the top with relative ease, and paused for a moment. “Damn, we’re really high up here!” Yamcha squinted into the distance and pointed off to the side. “I can practically see our ship!” 

Frieza was more entertained by the human’s reaction than the view itself, but neither wanted to linger- they were here for a reason, after all. “Let’s continue our search as hastily as possible, the weather looks like it may be taking another turn for the worse, considering those clouds. The artifact is supposedly located near the summit, correct? If we make our way back down in a careful spiral we should be able to locate it.” 

“If it exists!” Yamcha added. Now that they were so close the gravity of this situation was starting to set in. He’d brought it up on a lark, but hadn’t previously given any real thoughts to the consequences if they had gone through with it. Frieza may be his friend, but he’s still a tyrant- if he really did get the ability to read minds he’d doubtless be using it for evil… 

But he hadn’t been thinking about that. No, Yamcha had just wanted to tell Frieza an interesting story he’d heard because he wanted Frieza to praise him and think he was interesting. He wanted to keep being the one special person that somehow managed to impress the terrifying and powerful Frieza… Yamcha once again found himself questioning his own morals. Further introspection was cut short, however, as the emperor called him over with a shout. 

“Yamcha, come quick! I do believe I’ve found our cave!” The human rushed over, all concerns momentarily pushed aside in the name of the excitement of the hunt. Sure enough, Frieza had located a narrow opening on the side of the mountain. 

“Whoa,” Yamcha said, bending over and sticking his head in the cave’s entrance. “Wow, this opening is really small! How are we supposed to fit in there…” He grinned as he made an exaggerated motion of looking down at his companion. “Wait a moment, I think we have a solution!”

Frieza glared. “You are pushing your luck, dear Yamcha.” He ignored the giggles of his assistant, rolling his eyes before heading in. 

Yamcha sat down to wait, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, shivering. Luckily for him Frieza was back in a matter of minutes. 

“Well, Yamcha, it looks like the story you heard was at least partially true. I did find something sequestered away at the back of that cave.” He held up a wooden cube, roughly made and aged to the point that it looked ready to crumble if they so much as breathed on it. They looked over it for a moment. 

“Out here in the sunlight, I’m rather disappointed to see what I walked through that dusty crevice to find,” Frieza said dryly. “I can’t bring myself to believe that this… antique junk has any sort of magic abilities.” 

“May I?” Yamcha asked, taking it from the shorter man and holding it up near his ear, shaking it. “I don’t think this is the artifact they were talking about. No, this is clearly what we Earthlings would call a ‘treasure chest’- watch this!” Setting it on a rock, he lifted his hand and brought it down hard, cracking the crumbling wood open and revealing a metal cylinder hidden inside. 

“Oho ho, it turns out your experience in adventures such as this is as invaluable as I’d assumed!” 

Yamcha beamed, although inwardly he cringed at how bad he’d have looked if he’d been wrong! He watched for a moment with great satisfaction as Frieza looked it over, tracing a finger tip over the abstract symbols carved into it’s shiny metallic sides. It was funny how, when he was distracted and had his guard down, the fearsome Emperor Frieza could look downright cute. Maybe it was because he was so tiny- 

“Well then, as fascinating as this is we didn’t come all the way here to try and gain insight into whatever ancient culture created this item. Let’s test it out…” He held the artifact up, pointing it at his assistant. “Now, let’s see what you’re thinking…” 

Yamcha physically recoiled for a moment as he concentrated on pushing all thoughts about how small and adorable Frieza could be out of his mind and instead thought about… punching Flu in the face. That was a nice thought. He watched his boss carefully as he fixated his mind on that one image, but after a moment or two of that Frieza sighed and lowered his hand. “It was a delightful fantasy while it lasted, but it seems there was no real veracity to that legend after all.” 

“Not picking up anything, huh? Guess we should head back down then.” Yamcha was a little glad to hear it, considering his prior concerns for how his emperor would misuse such an ability if he truly had been granted it!

“I think not. Let’s just fly straight back to the ship. The sky is continuing to get darker and I don’t like the way the clouds seem to be getting lower. Let’s go!” Frieza tossed the artifact over his shoulder and took off. Yamcha paused before following him to pick back up the discarded treasure- he did still need metal to repair the ship, after all- and tucked it into the side band of his briefs before leaping into the air and hurrying to catch up. 

“You said it wouldn’t take long to complete the repairs, correct, Yamcha?” 

“That’s right, I’m thinking it should be less than an hour to melt down the metal and weld the cracked heat shield shut. But if you’re right and those clouds do spell trouble, well, I can’t do the job in the rain. It might be faster to radio back to your base and have a replacement sent down to us-“ 

“Oh Yamcha, you’re always so amusing! I’m in no rush. Time spent here is time spent away from my insufferable husband. I almost hope it does-“ 

They were cut off by a thunderous roar from the sky directly above them, and a massive bolt of the same strange, silver lightning that had downed their ship struck Yamcha directly. Knocked unconscious by the strange energy, he began to fall, but Frieza caught him as best he could. The size difference made it a bit difficult, but after a moment of rearranging he had the taller man securely in his arms, and rushed back to the ship. 

\- - - 

Yamcha jolted awake some time later, sitting up from his spot on the floor and blinking as he tried to clear his head. “Ugh… what happened?” 

Frieza was at his side at once, snapping his fingers in front of the human’s face. “Follow my hand with your eyes while counting backwards from ten then tell me your name.” Yamcha obediently did so, and the other man breathed a sigh of relief. “Seems there’s no real damage after all. I’d been… concerned. You were unconscious for nearly half an hour, and this damnable storm is blocking our com lines so I wasn’t able to request medical assistance for you. How are you feeling?” 

He shook his head again before he spoke. “Not great, to be honest. The left side of my face and my torso are sting like hell, and my mind feels… I don’t know, cloudy?” 

Frieza shrugged. “I suppose I should own up to your face. I did that one.” 

“You hit me?! Not cool man! I’m no where near as strong as you are, you coulda snapped my neck!” 

“Oh hush. You weren’t waking up from anything else I tried. I thought it might shock you back to consciousness. It’s not my fault that you’re of a weak race. I am concerned to hear of the mental fog, however…” 

“It’s weird… I can think okay? But it’s like, I don’t know, my emotions are hitting me really hard or something? Like a layer on top of a layer or… I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like I’m feeling two person’s worth of anxiety about my health right now?” 

“Oh, is that all?” Frieza shrugged again. “That doesn’t sound like anything damaging. I’m sure you’ll be fine once you’ve relaxed some more. But what about the other injury you mentioned?”

“Right, my side really hurts, maybe that’s where I was actually hit?” For the second time since they arrived on this planet he took off his armor. “Ah shit… that’s nasty looking.” A large burn covered part of his left side. Frieza leaned closer to take a look, and Yamcha’s vision seemed to cross. Like he was looking at things from multiple angles? He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, cringing. 

“Strange… your burn. If you look at it closely, doesn’t it look like the carvings on-“ 

Yamcha’s eyes were still closed yet he saw what Frieza meant somehow. He opened them and double checked- “of course! That damn artifact! I tried to bring it back, I bet it’s what drew the lightning to me- oh. Oh my kami…” 

The realization finally hit him- it wasn’t a lingering head injury that had him seeing strange things and feeling emotions differently. 

He was reading Frieza’s mind. 

“What’s wrong, Yamcha?” 

“Oh, uh, sorry, it’s just really looking at the wound I realized I’m probably getting another scar, that’s all, ha ha…” Yamcha wasn’t sure how well his temperamental boss would take the knowledge that his own mind was no longer secret, or that his assistant had, by some strange twist of luck, been blessed with the very ability that he had been seeking. But why though? Had the lightning strike been necessary to activate the artifact’s abilities, perhaps? 

“If we can get you back to one of our healing tanks quick enough it might not be an issue, but there’s nothing wrong with another scar on you if it comes down to that,” Frieza said lightly, but Yamcha got a strong sense of something else under the words. He’d need to try and figure our how better to control this new ability- as was, he seemed to be picking up just tiny pieces of things- fragments of thoughts and memories, bits of what the other man was seeing or hearing, traces of emotions. But actually sorting them out was much harder. 

“With how bad that storm sounds, I’m not gonna hold out hope that we’ll be getting out of here any time soon,” Yamcha sighed, trying his best to look unsuspicious as he took out a capsule of basic first aid supplies. As he pulled out what he needed to clean and dress the burn, he asked, “what happened to the artifact anyway? I was planning to melt it down and use it to fix the ship.” 

Yamcha tried to focus as he answered, seeing if he could pick out something more specific in the near overload of thoughts and senses he was picking up. “It must have fallen when I caught you. I had to rearrange your body in my arms a bit in order to carry you comfortably.” 

There! He tuned out the rest and got a relatively clear look at Frieza’s memory of catching the unconscious human. He then changed his focus a bit and concentrated- with a little experimentation he was able to access Frieza’s senses as easily as his own, and watched himself cleaning the burn through the other man’s eyes. They wandered between the wound itself and the rest of his exposed torso- maybe he was looking him over for any additional wounds? 

One more thing to try… he changed his focus a bit more to try and zero in on the other man’s emotions. There we go… a lingering sense of concern over the delay before the wound could be properly treated, and- “holy shit!” He dropped the bottle of antiseptic. 

Frieza rolled his eyes. “Does it really sting that badly? What are you, an idiot or a soldier? Give it here.” He picked back up the medicine and grabbed the gauze from the human’s first aid kit and started cleaning the wound himself. He was completely lacking in gentleness, and probably making the process more painful than it needed to be, but Yamcha didn’t notice. 

He was still too stunned by the other emotion he’d felt from Frieza… arousal. 

End Chapter Two: Can You Read My Mind? 

Author’s Note: Sorry for the long, long delay. The rest of this will be up without several month gaps in between. Again, sorry. 

Make sure to check out Half A World Away if you’re looking for more Yamza! Featuring a plot that we collaborated on and writing by the fantastically talented SkinsT, it’s cute as heck!

Fun fact, I used Placeholder as the planet name for ages, couldn’t think of anything, and just chopped off most of the word and called it a day. 

Next chapter- Yamcha tries to hide the fact that he can read Frieza’s mind and is painfully aware of how much the other man is attracted to him. In the process, he’s forced to figure out his own feelings toward the emperor…


End file.
